Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
