It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
