they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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