Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize