Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
