That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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