dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
