Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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