U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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