when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
