Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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