Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
