I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
