so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Couch. On fire.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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