Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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