atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
