You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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