i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
