dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
