Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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