Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
