We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
