Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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