i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize