Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
this hospital has no fireball
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
