I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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