Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
