Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
