Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this just has baby written all over it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
