Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
