I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
