If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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