My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
