so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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