So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
