Nicole vs. Life
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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