Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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