Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
