I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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