nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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