So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize