if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
