no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You are the jesus of drinking
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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