We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
