dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
