So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
