your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I AM VODKA MAN
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
