Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
