you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize