Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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