You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
