my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
