So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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