I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
