Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
