But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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