Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
