he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
