he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
