I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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