i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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