just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
