I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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